both humans and cats have identical regions in the brain responsible for emotion.

i've been avoiding writing...




...because i'm still trying, never doing.




"his name was not important. he was still the same. the world is dark. everyone no more than a shadow on a wall of darkness. the mundaneness of it all is what brought his curiosity. there must be more somewhere he hasn't looked. his eyes feel covered by this darkness. when you are a shadow and the world has no light, it is all seek and no find. he missed games with no winner and words with no underlying messages. he tried to hold things that he only felt were his. then he tried to move past them. that's the way. it was never the word though. he saw glimpses of what he knew were."
-n.r.m.

autum started at 5:19 pm est today. this season represents new beginnings, more than spring, to me. it's all that is worn falling away.

the place i am at right now is more eloquently put by the mutemath album 'armistice'. listen to it to understand me better.

the oldest cat lived 36 years

something that seems to be brought back again after i decided to avoid a decsion: "Lutherans To Allow Sexually Active Gays As Clergy http://su.pr/2mOzQY". it's very frustrating because i know how i feel, but my feelings have been "wrong" my whole life. i feel like He keeps forcing me to meditate on this topic, but i continue to ask the wrong questions. and then He throws the whole thing in my face again. where i'm at is this: are we making judgements based on scripture, or what God says? there is no way to unhear something you have been told for years.

the penalty for killing a cat 4,000 years ago in egypt was death.

it's weird, the things you remember and the things you will always forget.

all kittens are born with blue eyes.

i say i do,

but i don't fully follow through.

cats, not dogs, are the most common pets in america.

if you want a "everyday example" of what we look like, go adopt a puppy that follows you around and does shit it knows it shouldn't.

the manx (kayt manninagh or stubbin in manx) is a breed of cat with a naturally occurring mutation of the spine.

do you ever wonder what kind of impact you have on people? how a customer, friend, co-worker, or stranger views you and your actions and how that impacts there lives? why sometimes you feel like you know a person is thinking something about you and then it turns out you aren't even in there thoughts? when you help someone and feel like you really made a difference, but then they complain or say they wish you had done something different? what about the pleasure you feel when you notice a difference in someone you helped? is that selfish? should we even feel pleasure from something as simple as being nice or helpful? do you ever fake gratitude when someone helps you? are we really good natured at heart or is that another hopeful delusion? when do we truly know someone's thinking? should we ever?

feral cats may live alone, but most are found in large groups called feral colonies, which occupy a specific territory.

my soul and mind are in sorts. "what (really) matters more" to me?

a cat's heart beats twice as fast as a human heart, at 110 to 140 beats per minute.

anyone that calls me friend knows that i never speak very highly or kindly of myself.
one: i think people can get carried away with it. the may start just as building self confidence or trying to help someone understand who they are more. but it always seems to keep going. they start talking them selves up when no one asked. they start getting overly confident and see them selves as better than others (or better than they really are).
two: i just flat out think it's rude. you may feel different. that's cool. that's just what i was told growing up. maybe that's wrong. no matter, because this is only a briefing before my topic.

i'm a good friend.

that's my quality. my certain je ne sais quoi. what sets me apart.

i try to please all and fight for all. sometimes that gets me in trouble. sometimes it doesn't work. i've learned that if it doesn't work, it isn't meant to work that time (this is a more recent revelation and the first time i've said it to myself). that, however, does not stop me from caring too much and fighting for you as if you were my own (until you tell me in your way to stop).

in a way, this is what helps me read people and make me good at working in retail and the customer service industry.

yeah... i'm a pretty good guy to have in your corner... (TOOT TOOOOOT!)

the nose pad of a cat is ridged in a pattern that is unique, just like the fingerprint of a human.

it is truly beautiful to see the snow fall at the beginning of spring. fresh white powder, freezing cold. flowers in blossom, trees in bloom. i have never experienced anything like this in my life. that seems to be the reoccurring theme these past weeks, months, years even. i'm still new. i've seen a lot and experienced more than a good amount of other people my same age and same socio-demographic. i still seem to miss the "stories" and "responses". when is a man wise enough to live in the time God has given him, and not in the past or future? i know many men that are two and three times my life span and/or experiences and still don't seem to have that wisdom, mindset, focus. saturday i was FURIOUS. i woke up with that mind set. i think i may have fallen asleep with it, too. i picked fights all day. i said things out of anger and frustration i am still trying to make up for. i also blatantly felt His pull and saw His signs. i shrugged them off as coincidences and hocus pokus. i knew what it was! i could recognize Him! and i still did this!...

what if i don't learn the wisdom in time? what if i don't find that mindset? what if i fly by that focus and make fun of it? what if i already have?

His endless love and forgiveness is incomprehensible, and it endures with me forever.

i am asking this week. And i will be watching, waiting, listening.

cats have 290 bones in their bodies, and 517 muscles.

if you ever see a red dog playing with a shovel, you should throw your sand bag back to the fishes. it's more realistic to have ducks in the shoveling position than a red dog.
however, if you find you only have fishes in the sand bag, the optimal place-age for the raccoon would be south. the running cork board joke isn't that, just that the water cooler is out dated. friends who are finding the fishes should report immediately to the food stamp line for check in. i
suppose that's a tad bit racist, but i've never found tables to be 3 leg worthy. you see, my summer sausage isn't made the same as the wheat eggs. talking through the process of making either would take decades, if not seconds. it's all relative to grass anyways. if the blades are facing south after there trim, they need to be sharpened. waiting for the sense to come never works, though. the red pup will always come back and get into your fish sack. then you'll sharpen that cork board know
ledge of fine tables and blades with a summer sausage snack. that's why you came into my head cold anyways, right? so, why not follow it to sir jimmy dean's camp for a more thorough look at who you think you are
?
beards are a must.

a cat will snore while sleeping near you when it is very comfortable with you.

who has God created me to be?

hmm... that's really tough to answer right now.

i am a 24 year old man who was born and grew up in clearwater, fl. i am tall and heavy. i have brown hair and blue eyes. i have tattoos. i love animals. i know i am finding words and friends that put meaning to my feelings. i know it is my purpose to help my wife achieve her purpose. it's my dream to help her live her dream. i am good at selling myself, and whatever i am being paid to sell. that's a lot of who i am.

am i who He wants me to be?

"God like do plenny fo you guys, cuz dass how he stay. He like hemo you guys from da bad kine stuff you guys stay in, if you guys trus God strait out. No mo notting you guys can do by yoaself. God make lidis fo you guys. Dass jalike one spesho present God get fo you guys. Da tings you do by yoaself, eh, no talk big, cuz no worth notting. God da One wen make us guys how we stay now. He wen make us stay tight wit Jesus Christ, so now us guys can do good kine stuff. Even befo he wen make us, he wen make ready all da plans fo us guys fo do all dose good tings." (Fo da Efesus Peopo 2:8-10)

yes and no?

i feel i am where He wants me to be right now. of course hindsight is always 20/20 and i could be closer if i did things different.

how can you say 'i AM who God wants me to be.'? it seems to me it will always be a work in progress. that's why it's 'to become'. it's a strive. it's a goal with no end in sight.

God has this open invitation for us because through our stroll towards His goal for us, He's trying to get us to know Him more. this isn't news to most of you...

we need a venue. that's the thing we're missing. we're missing where we live. your surroundings. where He has put you. (trust me, when you find like minded people who are a couple steps ahead of you, you see what you were thinking.)

be open. be available. be strolling.