a little awkward.
i haven't written my thoughts down publicly in quite awhile. all i wrote then was dark, disturbing, and mostly non-linear thoughts.
new starts are refreshing. hear, goes the first bomb.
don't get me wrong. i know He loves me no matter what i do/think. i just can't wrap my CHS high school grad with SOME USF college and no degree brain around it. His forgiveness, i can't comprehend that, but i can understand that i can't comprehend it, so i take His word for it. it's more His tolerance for our apathy towards Him. how we fade in and out of conversations with Him. at times even fading out of what could remotely resemble a relationship all together. for days? weeks? years? a lifetime, until we reach our ending... to me, that does not seem probable. so it's not why so much, but how do we claim we know the Guy? if you lost touch with your best friend from elementary school, picture them. now you run into them 15 years later. do you know them? take a friend you catch up with every once in awhile. when you do catch up, it's," ya... evryting's graat... we be all'iet...". no real catching of anyones ups or downs. how about your spouse/significant other/parent. if you go 6 days with out saying more than,"Hey.", and then act like you are buddies at the first of the week, you'll be howdie-dandy? doubtful. you don't know them. you don't know what happened to them that week/catch up period/15 years. so why do we act like we do? why does He let us think we are just picking up where we left off? love? yes please. forgiveness? well yeah. we know that. we said that first. but how?! for His name's sake! how!? how does He do it? over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and (deep inhale) and over again. each time acting like we've been in touch the whole time. i dunno... i've been kickin' it around awhile. milling it over with my Bud. shootin' the breeze with the Duders. jibba jabbin' with Jimmy (not Jimmy Limmy).
well this was my best first shot i think. shoot me now, if i got the rabies and i'm comin' toward the ol' Radley place.
Well... what a good blog you got here! I was very pleased. You ask some big questions. I don't get it either man. I can't help but feel we (most Christians) really live below par when it comes to our faith. I just have this nagging feeling like we grabbed a hold of the good news and just left it at that. It's like "well I guess I'm saved now... Jesus please bless me...i'll talk to you in a week or so c-ya" east sleep repeat.
ReplyDeleteCall me crazy but I think there is more to it than that. Good thoughts man. Keep them coming.
Ok, so for the first part of the post I was thinking "Why does Kyle keep capitalizing He/His when he's talking about a cat?" and then it dawned on me that the Calico thing had nothing to do with the post. Apparently, my CHS grad brain can't wrap around much either.
ReplyDeleteKyle, please post more. About the Lord, about veganism, about cats, about whatever.
ReplyDeleteonly if you tell me who you are!? Mom?
ReplyDelete