an average cat has 1-8 kittens per litter, and 2-3 litters per year.

Christmas was different this year. it was our first. it was our first up north. our first without our families. one thing that was similar this year, as in years past, somehow seemed more revealed. we went to Christmas service with our friends at a small non-denominational church in the country of ohio. it read the same as ones i've heard in the past. the same a lot of people have. a couple Christmas tracks. followed by children performing touching Christmas related skits/songs/dramas. then the Christmas sermon. this speaker decided to add a reading of a writer that was writing to inform us that we don't care enough about Jesus. the sermon was an acronym for L.I.G.H.T. . it started to blur about mid way through the I, i think. there was a little boy slightly more entertaining in the row up that we were getting our entertainment from. the main idea was the what was the same as years past. God is to be feared and He could take everything away if He wanted. i'm not going to go into a debate about theology and this pastors/congregations beliefs versus mine. all i wanted to say is that it made me aware of the fake personalities and nonacceptance this church and others i've attended put out. that made me angry on Christmas eve. we did have love with our friends, which is what the point was.

a cat's normal temperature ranges from 100.5 to 102.5 degrees fahrenheit.

Lord,

help me meet who i can be.

cats whiskers grow to the width of their body.

it's come to my attention that beauty is relative. 

the fall leaves changing color and dropping to the ground is something i have never lived through. i have only seen pictures, or maybe driving through it, like most Floridians. it's something i recommend to everyone. seeing the vibrant colors become more and more real day by day. slowly they fade into the color of the trees' bark. they fall like rain over you and the ground. the trees turn naked. the ground covered with these colors only He could imagine. we trample on them. the ground becomes cold and saturated. pushed onto the sidewalks. then to the gutter. run over and blackened. they turn to mush. sliding and moving slow, you try to keep your step. the sky is grey in and out. the weather is what November is.

what December holds for east-central Indiana, is only in His mind.

the coloring of the leaves, the falling, the mush, the tall twigs, the grey. they are all new and beautiful. it's something you aren't used to seeing and feeling...

they are here. you hear their discontent. the dreading of ice scraping, salting, shoveling, switch repeat. our excitement makes them feel confident in our ignorance.

they are wrong. so are we. we had His beauty all along. the beaches, sunsets/rises, space shuttle launches, green trees year around, soft sand, Publix, soft grassy yards, cool water, and such that goes with Florida.

you become detached.

you learn to agree that God creates. we need to accede what He has made for us. no matter the place, season, time of day.

only one out of every 3,000 calico cats are male.

so...

     a little awkward.

          i haven't written my thoughts down                 publicly in quite awhile. all i wrote             then was dark, disturbing, and                     mostly non-linear thoughts.

               new starts are refreshing. hear,                  goes the first bomb.

don't get me wrong. i know He loves me no matter what i do/think. i just can't wrap my CHS high school grad with SOME USF  college and no degree brain around it. His forgiveness, i can't comprehend that, but i can understand that i can't comprehend it, so i take His word for it. it's more His tolerance for our apathy towards Him. how we fade in and out of conversations with Him. at times even fading out of what could remotely resemble a relationship all together. for days? weeks? years? a lifetime, until we reach our ending... to me, that does not seem probable. so it's not why so much, but how do we claim we know the Guy? if you lost touch with your best friend from elementary school, picture them. now you run into them 15 years later. do you know them? take a friend you catch up with every once in awhile. when you do catch up, it's," ya... evryting's graat... we be all'iet...". no real catching of anyones ups or downs. how about your spouse/significant other/parent. if you go 6 days with out saying more than,"Hey.", and then act like you are buddies at the first of the week, you'll be howdie-dandy? doubtful. you don't know them. you don't know what happened to them that week/catch up period/15 years. so why do we act like we do? why does He let us think we are just picking up where we left off? love? yes please. forgiveness? well yeah. we know that. we said that first. but how?! for His name's sake! how!? how does He do it? over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and (deep inhale) and over again. each time acting like we've been in touch the whole time. i dunno... i've been kickin' it around awhile. milling it over with my Bud. shootin' the breeze with the Duders. jibba jabbin' with Jimmy (not Jimmy Limmy).

well this was my best first shot i think. shoot me now, if i got the rabies and i'm comin' toward the ol' Radley place.